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The DO’S and DON’TS when attending a party

The DO’S and DON’TS when attending a party

Although the Holidays are going to be a bit different this year, I know some of us would still be seeing family/friends.  Hopefully, it is all small parties, Secret Santa gift swaps, White elephant gift swaps, and maybe even a small friend or Family Party (you know less than 10). The difference about the small parties is it’s hard to hard when you f*ck up, but it is always easier to stand out. Now, this may sound crazy but not everyone knows how to properly act when they are a guest at other people’s homes. 

I like to consider parties similar to how everyone makes their ice-cream sundae a bit different. Some like it in a bowl, some like it in a cone, some like rainbow sprinkles, some like chocolate; the point is it is all ice-cream sundae just different variations. So although a lot of these are general topics you will be able to tweak them a little bit to fit your specific host. So without further delay here are some party do’s and don’ts! 

DO bring a gift for the host even if they say you do not have to bring anything. This never has to be anything big or expensive can be a bottle of wine, a tray of cookies, or even some flowers. The host probably spent days cleaning the house, organizing/prepping food, and just setting up for the party. My rule of thumb is whenever I am invited to a party or over someone’s house for dinner I always ask what can I bring? Until you host a party you have no idea the stress that goes into getting one ready. So please please bring them something to thank them for the invitation and all the hard work they put in to make the party happen. I mean think about it; you never show up to a birthday party without a gift. 

DON’T forget your gift at home. If you promised to bring something be it wings, a game, wine, or a present you better make sure you bring it. Especially with it being holiday season Secret Santa/White Elephant and in order for that to work you need to make sure you have your gift. It is super obvious but I am sure we all have done it. Especially when they are counting on you bringing food it usually means they made less or ordered less because they counted on you showing up with that tray of wings. So please do not forget what you promised to bring. 

DO make sure that you say hello to the host and thank them for inviting you. This sounds crazy and out of left field but it is not. I once was out at a house party with my then-boyfriend and his friends and one other girlfriend. I insisted that my boyfriend introduced me to who threw the party so I can thank them for the invite. At the time he thought it was weird it was a house party but he did it anyway; the other girlfriend did not. The rest of the night as more guests came in and left the hosts were still talking about how upset they were that she never introduced herself and just made herself at home. I also watched my mom, the nicest woman ever tell my brother that his friend’s girlfriend was not allowed in her house anymore because she refused to say hello to my mom and thank her every time she came over for one of her parties. It’s such a small gesture that truly takes minimal effort but it goes a long way and holds so much value. (and if you are the one bringing someone nothing makes them feel more included and wanted than being introduced to the other people). 

DON’T get belligerently drunk. Now I know some parties that it is okay because that is the point of the party. However, if you are sitting on the couch blacked out puking on yourself, or on someone’s belongings; you are making it a liability not just for yourself but also for the homeowner. God forbid something happens to you it is the homeowner and other party guests’ responsibility to make sure you get the medical attention you need; if not, your loved ones could sue the host of the party for whatever happened to you. Now if you do happen to get sick at someone’s house own up to it, clean it up, ask how you can help, and if damages occur pay to fix it. I had a friend who came to my parent’s party and got so drunk he puked all over himself and the couch in the middle of the party (he was 22 had been to parties at my parent’s house before). In the middle of the party in front of everyone my mom (a nurse), my aunt (also a nurse), and I are all cleaning him in the middle of the party in front of everyone. My mom cleaned him up, washed his clothes, checked on him every 45 minutes throughout the night. The next morning when I told him what happened he sat there in my mom’s kitchen cracking jokes, laughing at them/us and denied the whole thing. My mom to this day never got an apology and he never paid for the cleaning that had to come in the next day to get the stains/smell out of their couch. Even after I repeatedly told him the cost and that it was the right thing to do. I was friends with him for over 10 years, my dad even knew his dad for longer. We both ended our friendships shortly after the incident because of his actions. Please be better, please.

DO ask them if they need any help. More often than not they will tell you no, but in those times they say yes it is usually a small task like refilling the chip bowl. You can always ask them before the party if they need help setting up, during the party, or even after the party if they need help with the clean-up. Again parties are stressful, help the host out!!

DON’T break the rules set up by the host! I do not care how many times you have been to Sarah’s house and have used the bathroom up in her bedroom. If she says upstairs is off limits do not go upstairs. Follow the rules would be so helpful to them as people copy what others do. Plus it is someone’s home be respectful they would do the same if they were in yours. 

DO be respectful of their pets. Next to home and sometimes even before a home people really care about their pets. They go above and beyond to make sure they are safe, healthy, and happy. Please be respectful if they are in a cage or tank, do not put things in it, do not tap or try to scare them. I have a dog that is allergic to any bird with feathers. I am constantly telling people at parties NOT to feed him as he gets serve rashes in his ears/all over his body; few actually listen. This causes us to have to lock up our dog away from the party to keep him safe and healthy but he doesn’t understand that and thinks he is in trouble. So please be respectful of all the creatures that live in the home with the host. 

DON’T show up with an uninvited plus one. Especially now in a pandemic but in general. Always ask first if it is okay, give them a call, give them a text and ask. “Hey, I know your party is coming up. Thank you again for the invite. Would it be okay or would you be comfortable if I brought so and so with me? Please do not be obligated to say yes with me asking I absolutely understand if you say no.” If they say no do not throw a fit, do not get upset, and do not decide you’re not going without your plus one. Understand that they have their reasons and respect that. They are the ones throwing the party and were kind enough to extend and invite you.  Also do not ask last minute to bring a plus one (there are rare occasions this is okay) but if you call someone up the DAY OF the party and you knew for weeks about it is just plain rude. 

DO socialize and mingle with all the guests at the party, even if your ex is there; be civil. Going to parties can be weird when you only know one or two people and some people do an awful job at introducing you to the other people at the party. Even if they do talk to them, make new friends, I’m not saying you’re going to marry that person or have to spend the night with them. However, it will make your time at the party a bit more enjoyable. Plus you never know where it could go. 

DON’T overstay your welcome. It’s hard to read at times but sometimes the party has come to an end, people are slowly grabbing their things and leaving. Sometimes a few people stay back and talk (maybe because they are staying the night or waiting for a cab) this is not the time to do more shots, crack open a new beer, or make yourself another plate. This is when you ask if they need help cleaning up, and when you gather your belongings and start saying goodbye. I say it’s hard to read because at times people do stay the night, and other times a host does not want to be rude and kick people out. But I have faith in you that you can read the room and maybe your own body saying let’s go home I’m tired. 

Now again I know this is such a weird topic to talk about especially in the middle of a pandemic and well a lot of these are basic manners you learned or should have learned as a kid. But sometimes these things slip our minds, we forget and just need a reminder. I say this because at twenty-five I have witnessed guests of all ages do some of these things (the good and the bad) so a little reminder can’t hurt anyone. Now if you are having a small party be it Secret Santa gift swap, White elephant, or maybe even a small friend or Family Party have fun but most importantly be safe. Not just with drinking, making sure the chicken is cooked all the way through, but also with the pandemic. Again please have fun and be safe out there Happy Holidays to all!!!! Let me know in the comments below if you have some parties’ do and don’ts or even some party horror stories. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter to keep updated with our latest blog posts every Monday and Thursday!


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