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A Year in Review

A Year in Review

Taking a moment to review your life as I call it is something everyone should do. How do we know we are moving forward in the right direction if we do not acknowledge what we have already done? For me, I think your  “Year Review” should happen on your birthday as it is your true start to the year.

Well, tomorrow is my 26th Birthday and if I am being honest I hate celebrating my birthday. I am perfectly happy with people saying or even not saying Happy Birthday to me and continuing on with their day. I do not need nor do I even really want to go celebrate it with a party or even a dinner. I was not always this way, but that is a story for another time. Even with me hating my birthday I still make sure to take the time to do my “Year Review”.

So what exactly is this “Year Review” I am talking about. Well a “Year Review” for me is reflecting on your year, acknowledging where you can grow, and be grateful that you made it here to this moment. I take this as a time to look back at the bad things that have happened, the good things that have happened, and a few other things.  To me, this is really important to do because I tend to forget all the hardships I overcome, the power moves I made, the internal demons I learned about, and just how far I have come a whole year later.  

So what exactly happened in my life this year? HA way too much…but let’s break it down or at least some of it. At the start of 25 I had just dumped my “boyfriend” after I had found out he was lying to me about his life; specifically that he was married with kids. I was utterly mortified that I allowed myself to be in that situation; especially since there were so many signs that I physically chose to ignore. He even tried various attempts to try and “rekindle” the relationship. Safe to say he blocked on every possible way. After some time I even thought I was ready to start dating again and it was the worst date of my life; to say the least. 

The pandemic started and the whole world shut down and honestly being cooped up in an apartment was awful, so I made the decision to come home and spend some time with my family. I have not lived at home since I was in college in between semesters. Plus some of my younger siblings could use the sibling bonding especially with them being in or about to be in college. Plus I could easily help out my parents around the house since they were still working and my siblings were now doing online school. To those parents that did both, I applaud you that is not easy. 

The company I worked for was sold to a larger corporation. Luckily I did not lose my job but a lot of changes happened that still made me rethink if moving away from home was the best decision. Although my old company was small it still made sure the employee was heard and it truly focused on making sure employees were happy. With the number of changes and for some the additional responsibilities which made a lot of people almost hostile. Which for me has made going to work or working really unenjoyable. 

Even with all the bad, I choose to rise above (cheesy af u know). With the dumpster fire of my love life and a few other traumas, I made the decision to start seeing a therapist. Personally, I consider this probably the best decision I made. Since I don’t see it as me being weak and not being able to handle my demons; I see it as me realizing that I and the people I have relationships with deserve the best version of me. And well I can’t be the best version of myself if I don’t learn how to let go of all the bad I went through. As crazy as it sounds I’ve been able to learn more about myself, my thoughts, and my feelings than I knew possible which has made me really happy. 

Speaking of being happy I searched for what made me happy, not the 30 seconds of happiness but the whole day, tell your friends, and call your mom happy. The type that just oozes out of your pores that people passing you on the street are able to tell. Well, I found it, it was not just a single act but rather a large variety of things. I focused on being healthy, working out, and meditating to help me let go of the day’s stress and anger. I focused on fueling my body not only with the things it needs but also wants. That’s right I did not pass on the cheesecake, candy, or Oreos. I also danced it out and held mini-concerts in my car. Made me feel like I was a careless kid, happy, and free reminds me I have a whole life ahead of me. 

I also traveled to my favorite place in the whole world, one I honestly been avoiding for a few years. Being back in my favorite place, seeing the views, smelling the fresh air, and just letting all of my stress disappear. It was everything I never knew I needed and so much more. In fact, I already booked my return trip for the next few years because I love how I feel whenever I am there. I also made the trip down to the beach to see my Aunt and Uncle who I have not seen in years. Being at the beach sharing memories, moments, and catching up on life. Even with the pandemic, I made sure to travel; because for me traveling reminds me how lucky I am, to slow down, and breathe. 

I learned to stand up for myself in the workplace, and not just stand up for myself.  But I also learned to stand behind my work. The cool part is when I have been standing up and owning my work/decisions other people have been behind me watching my back. I even have been pushing myself to find happiness in my work even if that means finding a new job. I always look Updating your resume is a sure way to remind yourself of all the accomplishments you have been through. That is one of the cool things about a year’s review of your life; you get to see what area made you happy and what areas need some improvement. 

It’s important that no matter what happened in your year be it relationships you lost, people passing, broken hearts, or whatever else you went through you made it through.  Be it bad or good do not beat yourself up over it; you come so far and have even further to go; what is even better is you get to choose the path you go down. That is why I like it because you’re never too old or too young to change your life the way you want to live it. 

As crazy as this year was for me I’m still incredibly proud of the person I am turning into. And I am excited that I am able to acknowledge not only my strengths, my weaknesses, my faults, and my moments of clarity.  Most importantly I’m growing as a person and figuring out what is the best path and type of decision. So as much as I hate celebrating my birthday I know how lucky I am to be alive and be able to celebrate or acknowledge another trip around the sun. Hopefully, when your birthday comes you beam with pride at the person you’re becoming, and if not you have the courage to change it.

 

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