Home » Modern Dating – Yes and No good and Bad

Modern Dating – Yes and No good and Bad

Modern Dating – Yes and No good and Bad

The one thing that I consistently find my friends and myself always talking about is dating, and by dating I mean Modern Dating. I have spent so many hours aimlessly swiping right and left trying to find someone; anyone I connect with or as I like to say vibe with…through a handheld screen…Young little girl me who grew up on Disney would be so shocked, maybe even disappointed? But also she’d be kind of proud figuring out how to do it trying to juggle life. Because news flash what I thought adult life was is not even close to what it actually is. 

Modern dating is one of the weirdest things in my book. Not because I think dating is weird or that dating apps are weird (Match.com has been around for ages). It is more of the culture around dating apps or as I call it Modern dating. 

Growing up and probably even when I was in high school I always thought that I’d meet a good guy in the grocery store, college, the park, or any place where I would just “accidentally” run into someone.  You know kind of like fate like the universe made sure we meet. (Don’t worry I laugh at little me too, she was so cute) Do not get me wrong there were good guys I met; hell I even went on dates with them, spent the night, got to know them, and some I even met their families. They just were not it so like some or most I joined an app or well multiple. 

I know when I did this I never weighed the good and bad. I just saw a quick way to meet and talk to people without having to put in a ton of effort. Which as someone with a crazy schedule; this was perfect. I was so eager that I did not pay attention, and by that, I was not acting safely on them. So what are the pros and cons of modern dating? And what can you do to make sure you are being safe on them? 

Positives: 

  • Test the vibe 
    • You are able to get a quick read off of someone; based on how they present themselves in their profile. Which is a start to seeing if you would be interested in getting to know them without having a conversation with someone. 
  • Quick and Easy Matches 
    • If you set up your profile and how active you are it’s pretty easy to find quick and easy matches. This is great because you have a better selection of people and can choose who you want to get to know better and who you do not. 
    • It’s also as simple as swiping right and left on people you like or do not like. No one gets notified when you do not like them; So you don’t have to feel bad about saying no to someone. 
  • Save Time
    • You can talk to someone in your free time without actually meeting them. This is great for getting to know someone for you to decide if you still want to get to know them and potentially meet in person. 
  • No personal information is shared
    • You can talk to someone without sharing any personal information. You don’t have to give them your phone number, your social media, or any other information. They can easily talk to you on the app; so if you catch a weird vibe, you can still feel safe. 
  • No Regrets
    • You don’t have any regrets waking up after matching with someone. Like in college days you don’t wake up and go over what happened last night and have a text from an unknown number in your phone. 

Negatives:

  • Are they real?
    • In today’s time, catfishing is such a real thing; and it’s so hard to tell who and who is not real. As you just see a photo and anyone can easily steal someone’s photo from their social media
  • People can act fake
    • It’s a lot easier for people to pretend to be someone they are not when they are hiding behind a screen. Say things they think people want to hear as opposed to what they mean
    • I once had a guy lie to me about his favorite ice cream…like it is ice cream who cares if you like cookie dough over phish food? 
  • Most people only want one thing
    • Because it’s so easy to have a multitude of people at your fingertips there are people who only use it as a hook-up app. They want to get to know so they can just have some sex, and then ditch you. For some that’s fine but other people are actually looking for a relationship. And of course, people lie about what they want. 
  • Self-thoughts 
    • When you’re talking to someone we have not met we tend to make our own assumptions, about them. And it’s hard to not let those affect who people actually are when we meet them. 
    • Like if you match with someone who is from NY and assume they like the Yankees; they could be a Mets fan. 

 I am sure there are so many other pros and cons that I am not even thinking of or listing. I would be more than happy to hear about them in the comments! Now If you are on dating apps please check to see if you need to update your profile for the following things to stay safe. 

Staying Safe: 

  • Do not list any personal info
    • If you have where you go to college that is up to you. But I do not recommend you list your place of employment or any other personal information
    • I know so many people have “snap me” and their snap chat on their bio I personally don’t like that. I don’t like giving out my phone number, Snapchat, or my Instagram until I have spoken to them for a few weeks. 
  • Don’t share “personal Images” 
    • By this I mean if you have a photo that shows off where you live, what your house looks like etc. I would recommend not using it or cropping it to hide those details 
  • Trust your gut 
    • If someone is giving you the creepy vibe get the hell out. Remove them from being able to talk to you; you owe them no explanation. 
  • Instagram link 
    • Personally, I think this is such a bad idea; yes people can see you are real, however; they can see your posts so if you’re posting at the coffee bar down the street and tagging it they know you go to that coffee shop and can easily find you if you want them too or not. 
  • Don’t share too many personal stories 
    • You never want to share something that can be used to blackmail you; people are crazy and you have no idea who you really are talking to.

Modern dating is one of the greatest inventions for people who are trying to meet someone, especially in a pandemic. It allows us to easily meet people in the comfort of our home to see how we feel about someone. However, you also have to be careful when doing it. So in honor of the “love month,” I hope this helps you out for finding your boo thang or even your thing. Just remember to trust your gut and be safe out there. You deserve to be happy, but you also deserve to live a long life. I know I am saying this a lot and I will keep saying it as your unofficial official friend and big sister; please go find love or lust whatever you are looking for but PLEASE be safe. And don’t worry all month I’ll be giving tips, tricks, dating advice, and more to help you with all the good and bad of dating! So come back Thursday for more!!

Follow:

Leave a Reply