Home » Dating Advice – you wish your big sister told you

Dating Advice – you wish your big sister told you

Dating Advice – you wish your big sister told you

Now the last post we talked about Modern Dating now lets take the next step and let me give you some dating advice. Hopefully Modern Dating  helped you out or could have totally crashed and burned. Hopefully, you did not crash and burn; hopefully, it helped you out and maybe even made you feel a bit more safer and comfortable while on dating apps. 

I want to talk with you about dating advice; I’m not talking about the advice you get from your friends when you expect them to call you back after the first date. I am talking about the advice we may be too afraid to ask, the advice people assume we already know, the advice that may just save our lives if the situation ever arises. Now as a few people’s actual Big Sister this is the advice I have given to them that I hope they use in their dating life. 

First Dates: 

**If all you take from this is this advice then please take this it could honestly save your life**

  • Tell a friend about the date 
    • When I say Tell A friend I mean tell a friend, the day or the date, the time of the meetup, and where the date is going to be 
  • Send same friend pictures of their profile, Instagram whatever you have 
    • I also take screenshots of their dating profile so my friend so god forbid anything happens they have some information
    • I have even sent screenshots of their name and number (hell I even have been the receiver to more than a few friends)
  • Have a friend go with you or share your location 
    • If you have the ability to have a friend grab a table in the back and just watch to see if you are okay or comfortable 
    • If you do not have that Luxury share your location with someone; so they know where you are 
  • If you go alone have a code word
    • When I go on dates alone I always tell a friend when I arrive; we also agree prior to, two codewords be it boat and fire (can be anything). If I text fire I need a phone call whatever to get me out of there be I am uncomfortable or just need to get out. Boat or whatever hey date is over, I am safe in my car about to head home 
    • I know some people may think this is extreme but with social media, and dating apps you may never know who you are meeting and what their intentions are. So no I do not mind being a bit extra, but I at least know I am safe and god forbid something ever did happen to me,  someone has information to act. 
  • Have your first date in Mutual ground/Public 
    • A public date is a great way to feel safe, and having it in a mutual area (a restaurant you both have not been to) helps make it feel like no one has the upper hand
    • If you want to have a first date at your house or theirs that is your prerogative you do you, honey!
  • Drive yourself 
    • Safety is the name of the game when you drive yourself you have your own getaway car, as well as your date does not know where you live
  • Set your expectations low 
    • By this I mean do not expect a Rom-Com first date moment (chocolates, roses, etc) Not every guy or girl is going to give you anything on the first date rom coms lied to you 
  • Go in open-minded 
    • First dates are scary, a lot ride on them (no idea why) but try and relax and enjoy yourself 

BIG Sister Dating Advice: 

  • Communication is key 
    • This is either going to make or break your relationship. I’m not just talking but talking the truth. Saying facts you stand behind, editing when they upset, etc. Lack of Trust come from miss or lack of communication if the communication is strong the relationship usually follows 
  • Know your Yays and Nays 
    • By this I mean know what things you are okay with and what you can not tolerate. For example, if you hate cigarette smoke and they smoke a pack a day, I do not care how beautiful their eyes are you will also not like that one aspect about them and you cannot force someone to change
  • Be honest with your needs to them
    • If you need things done a certain way or expect certain things to be done you need to be honest with yourself and the, If you need a goodnight text every night let them know; they cannot read your mind 
    • This helps set up communication as well as expectations
  • Make your own rules 
    • If there are things you will not do on a date or in general or have a specific timeline you want to follow, stick your foot down, and stand by them. The right person will understand and not push you 
    • Now rules can be broken, but only if you are comfortable breaking them 
  • Respect your body 
    • Your body. Your choice goes for everyone. I DO NOT CARE if you are a male, female, or transgender your body your choice do not let anyone disrespect you or it. 
  • The big L (love)
    • Say it when you are ready and Truly mean it. When you tell someone I love you that should not be taken lightly. That is a lot of trust and feelings and should be aimed at the right person that deserves it. 
    • Be it you say it first or they do not feel pressured to say it back or for them to. Instead, tell them this “I know what you said should not be taken lightly. I feel incredibly lucky to be able to be loved by you. Please know I do not take this lightly, and when I say it I want to mean it with every fiber of me, and right now I am not there. So thank you for loving me as I learn to love you.” You would be shocked how many people respect that 
    • Again only ever say I love you when you mean it. 
  • Learn to Laugh
    • You will trip, you may even fall, hell they may even tease you a bit, do not let it bug you to laugh at yourself. 
    • I still laugh at that one date I went on wearing flip flops, slipped on the carpet, and fell down not one but two flights of stairs. Did it suck? Absolutely. Was my face super flushed with embarrassment? Fuck yes! Did I laugh at it? 10000% yes because I had the option to let my clumsy self ruin that moment more so than I already did, or I could try and capitalize and take the moment back by laughing at myself. 
  • Know your worth 
    • You deserve the world. And when I say that you deserve the world that you want to live in your dream life. You deserve to be treated well, treated with respect, and treated like a damn queen. DO NOT ever ever ever settle for anything less. Set standards not just for the people you date but for yourself. You are worth it, no matter how many times someone has told you that you are not. You absolutely are worth it. 

I know this is a fraction of the dating advice out there in the world, but this is what I am constantly reminding people around me as their friends, like their sisters, and even as their co-worker. This is the advice I needed to hear when I was younger and wondering why no relationship got serious, or when it did why I was so unhappy. Looking back now I realize all the areas I failed myself because I thought I was doing the right thing. And as much as I hate looking back and grimacing at what I did/allowed to be done it brought me to where I am today, and for that, I am so grateful. But as your unofficially big sister, I want you to have less scary, bad, awful dates than me. So whether you have a big sister that you’re afraid to ask for advice for, you are an only child or you are the big sister I’m here for you. So take a deep breath and know that dating is hard for everyone, But you can always come to me if you have any questions or concerns or need more advice! Just find me on Instagram (Astoldbykmh) or even message me here I’ll be happy to help!! And remember dating is fun so try to relax, and breathe, and remember to smile you never know what connection you could be forming. OH, and please be safe. XOXO KMH

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