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The Big L

The Big L

With Valentine’s Day just past I figured why not talk about the big L., I’m talking about Love. Now for me saying love is a big deal so I like to refer to it as the “Big L”. We throw this word all around, but we rarely take a deep dive into it. So let’s being.

When all of us were younger we saw so many different versions of love. It was nowhere yet everywhere around us. We saw this from the people in our lives as we grew up, on the TV, or in the movies that we saw. More often than not we always saw the good parts of love or we saw the really ugly parts. But what even is love?

What is love? According to the dictionary, it is: “ an intense feeling of deep affection. A deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone.” Some people describe it as being patient and kind, others as an intense feeling that consumes you. You can go around and ask a hundred different people, and get a hundred different answers. Which for me is amazing because it truly shows how unique and “one-of-a-kind” love really is. There is no book, rules, requirements, or even standards that you have to follow other than your own. Love is whatever you choose it to be. Be it trusting someone with your secrets, or always wanting that specific hand to hold, the butterflies in your stomach, the late-night laughs, and inside jokes. It is anything and everything you want it to be.

There is no one-way road or answer to love. All I will say about when it comes to choosing love is never settle, it is okay if your idea/vision of love changes, it’s okay if you are scared for it, do not force it, when you know you know there is no “I think”, and most importantly do not compare. I recommend trusting your gut, and not listening to other people. You know your emotions and feelings best and you will be able to say when you are or aren’t in love. If you feel it it’s okay to say it when you are ready to express it. If you do not feel like you are in love…please do not say it. The reason I call it the big “L” is because it holds such high power and meaning to a lot of people. It’s one of those things no one should take for granted.

One important thing I learned is when you are ready to tell someone you love them. Mean it with every fiber. And do not force it or expect them to say it back. It took me some time to learn this, but if I could tell my younger self one thing it’s to memorize this. “ I love you; I’m not saying it to make you happy or saying it to just say it. I am saying it because I mean it. And I need you to know that I understand if you don’t want to or aren’t ready to say it, but I am and I felt that you need to know”. Or in the other situation “I do not take what you said lightly at all and I am very lucky that you love me; I’m not ready to say it yet. And when I say it I want to mean it so please don’t take me not saying it as I don’t; just as I am not there yet.” It sounds crazy but being honest with people about your emotions can save you SOOO MUCH time in the long run.

Love for me is the scariest thing in the world; because you’re trusting your heart to someone else and hoping they don’t break it. But it is also the most rewarding thing in the world when you are in love with the right person. My hope for everyone is that they are able to experience real love at least once in their life. The kind songs are written about, Disney movies are made of, and novels are written. Because everyone deserves to feel and be loved. So relax you don’t have to say or use the Big L unless you are ready. 

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