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The things we can Control and the things we cannot Control

The things we can Control and the things we cannot Control

Life is the most unpredictable thing to happen, even when we think something is a guarantee it never is; we can control somethings but not everything. I was always told it’s okay to show you emotions or express how you’re feeling in a moment. Another thing my dad used to always say was “I better not throw the first punch in a fight but be the one who finishes it”. The one thing younger me never knew was that all my actions had an opposite and equal reaction;  but what are those effects? 

In life, we have all these moments, things, and actions that happen to us. It’s crazy because so many of them are things we cannot control. As we get older it becomes more and more apparent that we care less about what we cannot control and more about the things we can control. But how do we as people focus on what we can control in a positive way? 

As we all heard in physics class every action has an opposite and equal reaction. Much of life and its actions when something happens has a domino effect. However, what we do not realize is we control how the domino falls and touches the next person. (We have all been people yelling at customer service, I feel guilty the second I do it) So what are some things or tips and tricks that can help? 

-Understand you cannot control everything 

    – This seems crazy but we cannot control a lot of things in the world. There are way too many moving variables, outside forces, factors, for you to be able to control. Accept that you can control some parts in life. 

-Know your reaction to things is something you can control 

    – Yes I know I just spoke about how my dads never wanted me to throw the first punch. However, knowing how you respond to something could change the outcome. If a delivery is delayed and you call customer service screaming the chance that they are going to be happy to help is very small. Now you made them upset and just wasted both of your time. However, if you talk to them and see what the issue is, and try to find a solution to the problem. 

-Work through the issues 

    – Know that when problems come up the best way to gain control of the situation; is by looking for or trying to find a solution. When I am at my job I have had two people I worked with person A when things went wrong screamed, yelled, flipped out, and everything else that made people afraid. Finding a solution took over a week. Person B would ask what the issue is, what are the solutions to the issues, and how we can solve them. Issues were usually solved in less than 24 hours. 

-Understand we are human; humans make mistakes

    – Mistakes are a part of who we are. I find it more productive to learn how the mistake happened, so we can learn from it. As well as try to avoid the exact same mistake from happening again. But even when mistakes happen I am constantly reminding myself that I am only human and we make mistakes, but we must learn from them. 

-Very few things need an immediate reaction 

    – When things go wrong there are few things that require an immediate reaction. For the vast amount that does not, it is okay to take time to think about the best way to respond/react. When people would say or do something that hurt my feelings I got into the habit of saying I need some space and time to think, as I know if I respond right now it is probably going to be something I do not really mean or something I regret. 

There are so many things in life that we cannot control. Trying to focus and change the things that we cannot control is just wasting energy and time. That is all that is wasting energy and wasting time. In life, every action has an opposite and equal reaction. All you can do is work on your actions or reactions to hopefully change the outcome in your favor. So today I challenge you to focus only on what you can change, and work on making those changes for the better for you. So the next time things don’t go your way or the way you were hoping. Take a deep breath, a minute to pause, and see what the best way to react should be. 

It is okay to make mistakes, it is okay to not have all the answers. Life is all about learning to navigate and learn the best way to figure things out that work for you.

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