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The start to becoming ME.

The start to becoming ME.

I have talked about this a bit this past month, But I really want to take a deep dive into some of the things that helped me in  becoming me. It sounds a bit weird to think about the fact that each year I am constantly changing, growing, and becoming someone I am proud to be but also someone I always dreamed of becoming. I owe a lot of this to stepping outside my comfort zone, embracing my power, and trying new things.

Some back story first, I grew very lucky and very blessed in a lot of ways. My parents were always so supportive of whatever I wanted to do. With that thought, I don’t really think I ever had to be pushed outside my comfort zone. If I was I did it to make my parents happy or to have them stop bugging me. Like most kids growing up a lot of the things I did had come from recommendations or even my parents just signing me up. We had rules or policies some may say. You had to do good in school, you had to take Spanish, laying two or more sports were emphasized, and you were also expected to get a job while doing all of this. 

Now I am not complaining as every part of my past has brought me where I am today. And by no means am I complaining but I know very well some of those things were not everyone’s passion. As a kid, I knew if I did those things I could and would make my parents proud and get some points to be the golden child. Being one of the six kids my parents raised, I just wanted to make them proud of me and give them as few headaches as possible. But I know now that there is more than one way to do that. 

I remember I was 18 years old and I was obsessed with the movie “We Bought a Zoo”, and two quotes from that movie. “All it takes is 20 seconds of insane courage, 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery and I promise you something great will come of it” and “Why not”. I loved how these quotes were hidden yet drove the whole storyline, and I thought what have I not done because I lacked courage? Thus began my yearly goals to step outside my comfort zone; each year since I was 18 I do one thing outside my comfort zone no matter how big or small. To some, they may not seem that crazy but to me, they changed me for the better and helped me find me.

18 – I choose my backup college 

  • Best decision I ever made and can’t imagine not attending the college/university that I did 

19 – I tried out for my College lacrosse team as a walk-on 

  • Yes I made the team; and met some of my favorite people and dearest friends on that Team 

20 – I gave the long-distance relationships a chance 

  • Did it last no; but I learned so much about myself and what I want in my future relationships as well as things I need to work on 

21 – I took the Jump to study abroad in Italy 

  • The thing here is all my friends canceled or decided not to go so I knew no one who was also attending with me from my school 

22 – I accepted My first “Big Girl Job” 

  • This was also away from home so I had to find an apartment pack up and move in less than three weeks 

23 – I decided to take an Assistant Coaching Job 

  • I loved playing lacrosse and never thought that I would ever be able to coach but was so excited to share and help encourage other athletes to find their passion and push themselves 

24 – I dyed my hair for the first time  

  • I was always terrified to get my hair dyed after hearing horror stories and seeing some of my friend’s awful dye jobs. But I loved it and still do it today 

25 – I decided to seek professional help for so many things I was silently struggling  

  • 24 – 25 was a rough year and I thought I could deal with the issues myself. I was so wrong; talking to someone really changed my life. 

26 – I learned how to Snowboard 

  • I already knew how to ski, and had no desire to go back to the falling at high-speed stage But I figured why not. (Big shout out to my sister for the push)

Now don’t get me wrong I know this list may not seem like much but to me, I hold it close to my heart. Not just because I stepped outside my comfort zone, but it expanded my comfort zone. I learned more about who I was and how to be comfortable in my own skin. With becoming comfortable in my skin, I also grew my confidence. I learned more about who I wanted to be and how to be a better role model for my sister. I also realized that my parents were proud of me no matter what as long as I was happy. 

Looking back at this makes me laugh because I started it in hopes that I would maybe find something I like or use this as a tool to convince myself that I am making the best decision. Now I look at it as me learning more about myself and who I am meant to be; and I owe  Abigails thanks to where it all started finding me at my lowest


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