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I hope you fail.

I hope you fail.

I hope you fail. In all my life I have never been told such a thing, but I am telling you. I hope you fail. Please do not take this as I hate you, I never want to see you succeed, I hope your dreams do not come true, or I hope you never find happiness. In fact; it’s quite the opposite. I hope you fail so all of these things and so much more shine even brighter, become even more clearer, and even more desirable. The best life lessons all come from what we have learned from failing. 

Growing up failure was this ugly, gross, evil, cruel word. Failure meant you couldn’t achieve and because of that society taught me that if you failed you were nondesirable. Each time I failed I was considered a low-class student, person, athlete, and everything in between. All because I failed. Could be as simple as failing a test or even failing to score a goal in my lacrosse game. People who failed were looked down upon and when you were the one who failed not only did society let you know; there is this unbearable weight that eats you alive from the inside out. We are told as a society that failing is the worst thing you could possibly do. It’s shammed, looked down upon, mocked, and even in some cases shunned. However failure is none of these things, and yet people only look at it as a negative dirty term instead of focusing on what it is or what it can be. Failure could be the greatest thing to ever happen to you.

The thing about failure that no one talks about, the thing people never look at is in order to be great you have to fail. You have to embrace the fact that you are not always going to succeed at everything you do and that is okay. Few if anyone has gotten it right on their first try. And those who do I call it all luck or cheating. I have seen so many people fail and because they fail they succeed.

Well, you may be saying now how does one fail yet still succeed? Well, it’s actually quite simple to see failure teaches you a few things:

  1. Either this isn’t meant for you/this isn’t the goal or dream
    • I understand we all may think we want to be professional sports players but some of us are actually meant to be coach’s instead of players
  2. It’s going to show us how bad we want it
    • When you really passionate about something failing tends to light a fire under you and push that passion even further. 
  3. It’s going to tell you this path didn’t work or you are going to need to try another way
    • Think of it as you have to mountain climb; there are three paths to take you take path 2; however, ½ way up you realize a boulder is blocking the path so you have to go back down and take another path. All the paths lead to the top of the mountain just not every route may work for your journey.
  4. It’s going to show you who is truly ride or die, loyal to the soil, all in, on your team, in your corner, or however, you want to put it. 
    • Everyone wants to be by your side when you are #1, the best of the best, all your dreams are coming true. But the people who stick around when it all falls apart and you have to start over those are the real ones. 

So if you take a look at it, failure is the best lesson in the world. It’s not this bad awful ugly thing everyone and society look down upon. Failure is a part of life, and it’s what is going to make the dream the goal all that more amazing when it happens. 

The only time I ever consider failure an awful thing, and I agree with society on it is in one case and one case alone. It’s when people choose to quit, even though they have the passion for it, the heart for it, the desire to succeed, and the mental capacity to do it. However, they give up after one failed attempt because it’s too hard. It’s the people who use failure as an excuse to not keep going even when they love it. Nothing ever worth it was easy, nothing easy was ever worth it. Failure is a part of life the sooner you are able to embrace it the better you are going to be at succeeding and living your dream. 

The best advice I can ever give someone from failure is to learn from it. Every time you fail there is a lesson to be learned. You may not always see it right away or understand the why but you will. Just take a deep breath, take a step back, and look at what happened. Ask yourself why it happened. Then start to figure out what can be done differently to not get the same outcome. You may fail to try to achieve the same goal over and over again. However, each failure may be from a different reason or path that just didn’t work out. Embrace the failure, embrace the lesson, try to learn from it, and try not to repeat it. If you keep trying it’s never really failure just one less path to try. And yes sometimes we have to repeat the same thing 5 or 25 times before we learn the lesson and that is okay too! I know we are human and even I still struggle with accepting that failure is okay. The only thing that has helped me was embracing it. Embracing every bump, even misstep, and everything just shy of my goals/dreams. By embracing it all I’m learning to realize I’m getting closer to my goal, closer to my dreams, and if getting there means failing. I hope I continue to fail so I can continue to learn from it embrace it and keep on chasing my dream. 

I used to strongly believe, “It’s all about who you want by your side when all your dreams come true.” Now instead I believe “It’s all about who is by your side when you fail, those who walked away don’t even deserve to be in the room when I succeed.” So yes I want all your dreams to come true. But I hope you fail. I hope you fail and fall more in love with your dream. I hope you fail and your passion becomes even hotter. I hope you fail for all the lessons you need to succeed. I hope you fail. In my life, I have failed thousands of times and have laughed it off, embraced it, and started again. The truth is as I become happy with each failure; I realize I’m going to be so f*cking happy when it all falls into place. I hope we all fail; so we all can succeed. -Your unofficial internet big sis KMH

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