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The Social Media Lie

The Social Media Lie

Over the last fifteen years, social media truly blew up. First, we had My Space and AIM, then came Facebook with blackberry talk, and not too long came Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter. Plus with the improvement of or should I rather say the growth of social media platforms came to the growth of having access to them in your pocket at all times; or at least as long as you have service and some juice in the battery. If there is anything I have noticed over the years the more popular social media so di the increase of jealousy, comparison, and people losing themselves. The big issue is far too often we tend to forget that what we see online or on someone’s profile isn’t even 1% of their life. It’s a photo or a video of the life they want us to see. 

I have a love-hate relationship with social media. I love being able to use it as a way to share my blog filled with advice and stories with people. Few things make me as happy as waking up to a message or DM from someone saying they relate to my post, or that they needed to hear that bit of advice. Yet I still find myself getting uncomfortable filming a reel, posting a selfie, or even sharing a little snippet into my day. Mainly because I know how every person interprets things differently. I don’t want someone seeing a photo of me smiling at a beach and thinking I don’t have a care in the world and am just doing it for attention. When in reality I have tons of cares in the world but for the day or moment, I’m choosing to put myself first and be happy. 

Social media has brought a ton of good into the world. As well as a ton of negative like comparison, jealousy, and even envy. I use to be a huge culprit of this, constantly comparing myself to those I see on my Instagram, checking in on people who I no longer speak with just to see if I am doing better. It was such an awful and ugly thing I was turning into. SO I made some big changes and I still do it today. 

So what can you do? How can you prevent this? 

  1. Check you’re follows 
    • Take a day or two and go through all the accounts or people you follow. You do not need to keep the girl/guy who sat next to you in 9th-grade chem. That was over 4 years ago you haven’t spoken a word since you don’t need to see how she is doing daily. 
    • Do you know all of these accounts or people even?
      • I know meme pages still exist but if you like 1 of every 200 posts personally I do not think it’s worth it 
  2. Delete, Block, Mute, Restrict, or Keep 
    • While going through your list do any of these people make you doubt your own ability? Make you upset? Try and pick fights with you? MAke you feel bad about yourself? If the answer is yes Delete, or block those accounts 
      • If you think that t is too severe then maybe think of muting and/or restricting their account. I call this the “I need space” of social media. They are still your friend just you don’t see their stuff!
  3. What makes you happy 
    • Find accounts that make you happy. Be it with a smile, laughter, or you just love them as a person follow those accounts. If Billie Eilish is your favorite singer follow her! Can be meme’s, a comedian, or influencer. Whatever it is make sure it brings you happiness. 
  4. Inspiration 
    • Look for accounts that inspire you, and only you. If you love 3D printing follow accounts that showcase works from a  3D printer. If you like DIY follow an account that gives you tips and tricks as well as some work that can inspire your next DIY. 
      • By no means do you have to feel inspired on every post but go for the 70-30 rule. 
  5. Stay true to you 
    • Don’t give in or do things you don’t want to do. The internet is forever and we all change who we are over time. As you change make sure you stay true to yourself. If that means deleting a photo you once posted go for it! 
      • I am conståntly going through my feeds looking at things I shared or liked. Whenever I find something I no longer agree with or do not represent me currently I’ll delete it or unfollow; as I really want my social media to reflect who I am. 
  6. Limits and Restrictions
    • If you find social media is taking all your time create time limits in your phone, I pad, laptop, or whatever. This way you’re keeping your screen time down and you’re seeing less of social media.  
      • I even know people who only use social media from Monday to Friday. And I know people that don’t allow themselves to look at it until their morning tasks are complete. 
  1. The Internet is Forever
    • I know it’s tempting to comment, or maybe even post something mean. But please remember once it’s on the internet it is there forever. Even after you delete it
      • Especially with screenshots; no one likes a keyboard warrior who does bad. 

Things to Keep in Mind: 

  1. Picture Illusion 
    • PSSSSTTT, not every photo people post is real. A lot of people use facetune or even photoshop. There are tons of photo editing apps to help make someone’s photo brighter, prettier, and even more appealing to its viewers. 
      • There is nothing wrong with people editing their photos! But I find the best thing for me when it comes to today’s time with filters and such I tend to treat social media posts the same way I treat magazine covers. I acknowledge that they look good but I also know they have a whole team behind them making them look that good. I just have me and I’m happy with that 
  2. Comparison is a death sentence
    • You are you. They are them. You can’t be them, they cannot be you. Because of this, we all make up our own unique selves. Again people only show what they want to show. Don’t compare your hustle to someone’s highlight reel. 
      • We all have different lives and we all have different journeys. Comparing yourself to someones else is only going to pull you away from the path you should be on
  3. Comments, likes, and followers mean nothing 
    • All of those things are just numbers. People buy followers, likes, and comments all the time. Social media is used often in a popularity contest except there is no winner, and people are always trying to outdo each other for a better following. (It sounds exhausting)
      • I’d rather have 3 people like my photo knowing those 3 people love what I have done and support me than have 8k people who don’t know why I have a blog. 
  4. Walk away 
    • Social media and all its “fun” evil traits can be exhausting. If you find it draining your energy, draining your purpose, or even taking up too much of your time delete the account. No point in having something that makes you miserable. 
      • Stepping away from social media is something I have done, be it for a day or even a few months. Each time its helped me adjust what I want to get out of social media.
  5. Lighting, angles, and filters 
    • We all see the drop-dead stunning photos of the Instagram model. One thing we forget is these people take 50 photos with various lighting and angles and choose the best one. And people still will throw a filter over it to add some extra smoothness or glow that they couldn’t achieve without the filter. 
      • It’s like when I want to take a picture of my dog I use portrait mode instead of a regular photo it comes out as if a professional photographer did it. 
Same person, Same spot, Same day, taken seconds apart. The different angles and pose show two completely different photos.
  1. Highlight Reel
    • You are only ever going to see what the user wants to see. You’re going to see that 1 good photo as opposed to those 49 other good ones. You also have no idea the backstory about what is going on
      • Most people only share their good. Few people post about the anxiety attack they had, the fact that they got yelled at by their boss, or even that they got dumped. You’re just going to see them smiling on a beach, laughing at the sunset, and hanging with their friends.

Social media is a wonderful tool that can help reunite and connect family and friends apart from what is is going on in your everyday life. The big issue is we often forget that social media isn’t a popularity contest and who look hotter. We don’t have to look at our social media and feel bad or think we are falling behind compared to the people we follow. When that isn’t the case; you are on your path I’m on my path and that is okay. It’s okay to use your social media as a place of positivity, inspiration, motivation, and even a place to express yourself. You don’t have to follow everyone you know, you don’t have to use social media every single day. It’s your phone, your apps, and your life you get total control over it. 

The Number of “Likes”, followers, and reshapes you do or do to receive, has absolutely nothing to do with your true Identity.

-Randolph Koch

We all should be living our life the way we want to live if regardless of what people say about it or what others are doing. You are not rated on how many likes or views you get but how you treat other people when the camera or no one else is around. Social media holds a lot of power because we give it power when in reality we hold all the power. Yes, reels and tik tok are a lot of fun to get lost with for hours, and scrolling through Instagram for hours can lead to some cool things. But what are we missing out in the world doing all that? Plus everything with social media already happened…none of it is real-time (unless it is a live stream) they are all glimpses of past memories. Isn’t the present where you want to be living?

By no means am I saying delete your social media accounts. All I want you to do is keep in mind that it is all just an illusion. Don’t stress about what others are doing. I know it’s hard I still struggle, but all we can do is our best. If you’re even struggling with the pressures of social media, or comparison please feel free to reach out; I’ll always do my best to help you feel better. Hugs; your unofficial big sis -KMH



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