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My Struggles with Anxiety

My Struggles with Anxiety

I speak a lot about it and am pretty open with my struggles with anxiety. Anxiety is one of those things that I personally believe everyone struggles with. However, everyone struggles with anxiety on different levels, forms, and it even changes from day to day. The biggest issue for me isn’t denying that I have anxiety; My biggest Issue is talking about. Mainly because I’m still trying to understand it. I know I have it but sometimes I have no idea how to handle it or manage it, and especially talking about it. 


When it comes to me; my anxiety really started taking control of my life after I had graduated from college and had started working full time. Working in a high stress, no training, poor leadership, and a toxic environment did nothing but consistently make me feel like I wasn’t good enough. Now, most people would have realized they aren’t in a healthy situation and would have removed themselves. I however took this as a challenge to show I could handle it and prove them all wrong. 


When it comes to my anxiety it comes in so many forms, so many triggers, and often at the worst times. A lot of the time my trigger is my own self-doubt or me losing confidence in my own ability to do things. After working at a job where I was never told a good job, I was yelled at for things that were not my fault, and constantly verbally abused you tend to not always have the nicest thoughts towards yourself even when you’re trying your best. Since I never addressed it till years into working for that company I still work on it every single day. 


I mean there are times when I don’t even realize That anxiety is taking over till I’m at dinner and can barely speak or remember what I want to talk about. There have been times where it’s all happening so quickly that when I finally pause my once organized room is in chaos, or I wake up to my jaw hurting from me clenching it all night long. I’ve even woken up in the middle of the night clenching my hand and jaw and shaking. For me, that’s the scariest part is when I don’t feel or know it’s happening strat till I am so deep in it happening/affecting me. 


The biggest issue when it comes to my struggles with anxiety is with having different triggers and signs of it I also have multiple forms of coping with it. Which a lot of ppl think is really awesome and shows I make taking care of my anxiety a priority. However; the issue is though is if I don’t know what caused it….I don’t know the best way to fix it. I mean I can go on for days feeling anxious and feeling it build up and still haven’t figured out how to relax or calm down. And I could have tried 5 different forms of my coping mechanism. 


It’s scary because I like to be in control, and when I have anxiety I often feel a lack of control. So often I don’t know how to properly express what I need, what I am lacking, and many other things. To the point where I either move so quickly, I have no idea what I am doing or I feel like I’m stuck and don’t know how o do everything I need to do. 


One of the biggest lessons I learned is I can still be a functional human while experiencing anxiety. The best first step I can take when addressing my anxiety is just saying I feel anxious. Addressing my emotions once I am experiencing them not only helps me go okay what is causing this, how can we fix this, and what do we need to do. It also helps the people in my life know I’m not angry or being short because of them but because my anxiety decided to show up for the day and hang out. Plus letting people who care about me know what’s going on with my thoughts and emotions give me another set of help if I need it. 


The hard part about struggling with anxiety is everyone’s experience is different. There are a lot of overlapping triggers, emotions, coping strategies, and other things. Just like how every single person is unique our experiences, emotions, and reactions are going to be different. So talking about it a lot makes me feel like I am only focusing on a select few and that is never what I want to do. 


However, I do know that just talking about my struggles with anxiety shows people who experience it that they aren’t alone. Which  is what I felt a few years ago when I first started to truly experience anxiety.  With the help of a professional, family, friends, and other people who care about me I’m not afraid to talk about it and am even encouraged to work on it. Talking about my struggles with anxiety is one of those things I stil find difficult. Not because it makes me uncomfortable; but because I know we are all different, and I’m not an expert. 


My hope as always with sharing my exeprinces is that it gives people the courage, motivation, or even inspiration to seek help for their anxiety or other mental struggles. I’m no expert but I am somone who struggles with anxiety and can for sure say that talking to a professional and working on it has truly changed my life for the better. I’ve found different ways to help me with my anxiety (Habits that Changed My Life or Finding Happiness I talk about them a bit) I truly wouldn’t have found so many amazing coping mechanisms without the help of an expert. 


So if your reading this you are not alone and I know you can absolutely work on it to help live a happy life. Talking about it and getting help has been so freeing and I know it can be for you too.



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