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2021 wrap-up

2021 wrap-up

The year is ending (and my birthday) which means it is time for my 2021 wrap-up. Every year before the year ends, I like to take time and reflect on everything that has happened. Acknowledge the bad appreciate the good and acknowledge how much I have grown. In the past I typically I spend a day with myself collecting these thoughts but since As told by KMH started I felt being honest and sharing was only fair.

 

The truth is the more I look back at 2021 the less positive I find and the more negative comes to light. With all the bad from losing my cat, being dumped, toxic work environment, being fired, anxiety attacks, canceling vacations, moving back home, and just trying to sort through the mess I call my life (just to name a few). It hasn’t been sunshine, glitter, and rainbows. In fact, it’s been anything but that. I’ve never felt so alone, friendless, home doesn’t feel like home, and honestly, I just feel so small. I also juts don’t feel like myself.

 

Did 2021 suck for me? Absolutely! But it also made me realize I have a lot of work I need to do to become the person I want to be. I spent so much time this year soul searching, working on myself, trying to find every positive I can, focusing on how I can be better, and picking up the pieces. But even after all that I’m still unsure if what I’m doing is the right thing for me, which is scary.

 

It’s scary because I put so much time, effort, and work into things just to watch it crumble around me. It is a friendly reminder that although you have plans nothing is permanent.  But maybe it’s what I needed, maybe everything had to fall apart so better things could come together. And I must blindly trust that maybe I must throw it all away and start over. New friends, new hopes, new dreams, and maybe even find a new place to call home. I have no idea

 

As bad as this year was, I learned a lot and it wouldn’t be a 2021 wrap-up if I didn’t also acknowledge the good or the lessons I have learned. The biggest lesson I learned was setting boundaries doesn’t make you a villain or a selfish person. Its healthy and something everyone should do. Because of this I know my selfcare, mental health, and self-love journey is going to be a long road. That’s one of the positives about life though when things fall apart you able to learn lessons. All while rebuilding a new better life with the lessons you learned.

 

Oddly enough there are other positives with this. Through all the “failures” there were a ton of lessons. Like making sure I’m happy, working on self-love, feeding my dreams, vocalizing my issues, and not ignoring my emotions; just to name a few. One of the other cool things is my possibilities for rebuilding my life are endless.

 

I’m always a huge advocate for creating and building a life that makes you happy. So of course, the goal is taking all the lessons, and failures, and life moments I learned this year and using them to be better next year. Now when I say better, I don’t expect every issue or problem to be fixed. I o how every expect myself to use what I went through and learned to work on creating a year I’m proud of.

 

I won’t lie to it it’s such a fucking struggle. Epically when I look at everything I had; my own place, making my own meals, my own space, and many other things. And now everything revolves around the other people in the house and it’s just very lonely even with a full house. Trust me I know this sounds more like a misery, so I’ll review some of the things I am most proud of this year too.

 

They aren’t life lessons, but they were moments that did put a smile on my face. This year I got to visit my favorite place in the world and enjoy the snow and skiing with my family. I even got my sister to like the snow by doing snowboard lessons with her. I got to travel with two of my brothers from Washington down to Utah and see some amazing hikes, and what beautiful things nature has to offer. I took my dad to a Yankee game; and not just any Yankee game but when they played the Red Sox. There are other little moments that added joy to the year, making 2021 not 10000% awful.

 

I’m hard on myself and focusing so much on negative because I have expectations goals, and dreams I want to achieve in 2022. A lot of them have to do with piggybacking off of the lessons and bad moments from 2021. I want to grow from who I am or who I was in 2021. I wanted the same thing for 2020 (last years year in review) into 2021 and I don’t think I did that. As I close out my 2021 wrap-up, I’m excited and nervous for what 2022 brings me. One thing for sure I know though no matter what happens As told by KMH is here to stay.

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