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Learning to love yourself

Learning to love yourself

Learning to love yourself is never a one-day adventure for me its something I’m still learning to do every single day. What I have found though is a lot of people don’t know what it actually means to love themselves. I have found that a lot of people just think; well I don’t hate my life therefore I love myself. That couldn’t be further from the truth-loving yourself is something you have to do every single day. 


Growing up I never was taught self-love or what self-love was. I just figured I’m happy to be here therefore I love myself. Which honestly set me up for some poor sh*t. Mainly because I did not have my own set of what is and is not okay. I also had no idea how I wanted to be treated and expected to be treated. All because I was not consistently treating myself with love. It wasn’t until someone said to me have you tried learning to love yourself first? 


That day caused me to take a long hard look at how I treated myself. What changes, steps, aspects, or even ideas can I adjust so I can love myself better. It’s still an ongoing journey but tits the best journey I’ve ever been on. Learning to love yourself is a process but test the point! Because as life goes on we face new journeys and we have to make sure we love ourselves during that journey. 


I am sure you’re asking yourself what you can do to make sure you are loving yourself. Well, I’m no expert but I do some things that help me love myself. 


  • Focus on your thoughts and what you are telling yourself. 
    • Are you talking to yourself in a positive manner? When you make mistakes, are you hard on yourself? Or do you tell yourself hey mistakes happen, why did they happen and what can we do to fix them and prevent them. 
    • Ex: I often catch myself saying “That was stupid of you”. And I have been working on changing that to “You did the best you could in that current time and that is okay” 
  • Make sure you give yourself time to process 
    • When good or bad things happen make sure you are giving yourself time to process those emotions and let them live in your mind or even heart for as long as you can. 
    • Slow down and make sure you’re not brushing your own feelings and emotions. Because at the end of the day you’re not just brushing aside the bad but also the good. 
  • Don’t deprive yourself of what you want 
    • If you’re craving food or something, don’t deprive yourself from getting it. 
    • A craving is your body and mind’s way of saying hey I really want this and getting it is going to boost my happiness. Why not give yourself some happiness. 
  • Make sure you are doing self-care 
    • Everyone has their own form of self-care. And yes self-care is another form of self-love. 
    • Taking the time to relax, meditate, and treat yourself are all forms of self-care and self-love. 
  • Inforce your boundaries
    • You created your own personal boundaries for a reason. It’s okay to change them when you see fit. However, do not disrespect yourself by allowing someone to think it’s okay to break your boundaries. 
    • You created them for a reason and anyone in your life should respect them 
    • Also make sure you have boundaries, that reflect your morals and values. 
  • Address what is bothering you
    • Do not hide your feelings or your emotions when something is bothering you ask why. 
    • Try and get to the root of not only what is bothering you ut why it is bothering you so you can properly address it
  • Treat yourself like you would treat a loved one or even your best friend
    • If someone you really care about is having a bad day what would you do to help make that day better? Why not do that thing for yourself. 
    • This is why I encourage people to buy themselves a birthday and Christmas present you should be celebrating times in your life with yourself. 
  • Show up for yourself 
    • You show up for people’s talent shows, sporting events, and even their weddings. You constantly cheering people on. Do it for yourself. 
    • Show up excited for a workout, a night out, a day at the office, or even to go grocery shopping. Make sure you are present in your life. 
  • Be your own cheerleader
    • Cheer yourself the f*ck on. Show yourself the support and love you show your favorite sports team, child, friend, or significant other during their sports events. 
    • Celebrate your victories or touchdowns as well as boo the bad moments and interceptions. 


It’s okay if you never were taught how to love yourself it’s never too late to learn. I think it’s important to have moments where we check in and make sure we are giving ourselves enough love. Learning to love yourself is doing to be a daily task but the benefits are endless significant. Self-love just reminds you why it’s so important to put yourself first. Just always remember happiness is always going to come and go, but loving yourself is something that can last forever. Make sure you always love yourself. 



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