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Story Time: Rebuild after the Fall

Story Time: Rebuild after the Fall

If the last 10 months have taught me so much, I want to tell the story about the rebuild after the fall. If you remember last May everything I “knew” had basically fallen apart in front of my eyes. If not welcome to the new me and if you would like to be all caught up read Restarting and soul searching, Broken heart Chronicles, or Summer Reflection.More importantly, I had absolutely no idea how I was going to rebuild. But I did it, I rebuilt, and I could not be prouder. 


The big thing with rebuilding for me was actually focusing on self-love and my energy. For the first time in a long time, I was self-focused. I was tired and embarrassed about doing my poor me pity party. I spent a lot of time asking myself what do I want and what makes me happy. Those questions took me months to figure out. But I knew they would be critical to the rebuild after the fall. Once I had all of that figured out I started to put together a list of what changes I needed to make to do so. 


Each day I woke up and I did things that made me happy be it working out. Yoga, cuddling with a dog, or even eating a piece of cake for breakfast. I truly did not care; all I cared about what giving myself the happiness I had been missing. The scariest part about all of that was I was given a completely blank slate. I could do anything go anywhere. I truly was given a once-in-a-lifetime chance to rebuild the life I want. 


I let the past go. I came from such and I mean such a toxic work environment that people in the industry knew my boss was a raging mental case. I remember going to conferences and training out of state and people saying “Oh you work for him? Wow. Is he really as bad as they say? I hear his temper is off the charts.” I mean I can write a whole log about the times hr threw things in the office cursed out employees among many other things. The thing is no one cares you came from a toxic work environment. They care about what you learned, how it applies to them, how you overcome, and if you are ready to take on new challenges. 


The hardest part about rebuilding after the fall was looking at the people in my corner. A few people made the decision that they did not want me in their life. That really hurt, felt like another blow while I was down.  One of the best things about this experience was I made a friend that (not to be corny but) saw me. I was unemployed living at my parent’s house and wasn’t consistent with blogging. However, every day he was there, supportive, ready to listen, and so encouraging. He was the first person I actually told when I accepted my job offer. So to know I had and still have someone made all the struggles less lonely. I also know I have someone for midnight Wendy’s runs and late-night parking lot talks that make me feel seen. 


When it came to job-hunting I had applied to over 200 jobs, and I even rejected a few offers. I had spent four years in a place that crushed my spirit, my happiness, and my passion I knew the job I was going to accept had to be amazing. Many thought I would never find it but I did. From my very first interview, I was hooked. And each day I walk into a positive, encouraging, and welcoming environment. Not just for me but for all my co-workers. Just the other day I had someone screaming at me for something far out of my control, and I watched as my boss stepped in stood up for me, and protected me from the situation. I felt like I belonged. 


However, the thing is the rebuild after the fall would not have been possible if I did not take that hard look at myself. I had to truly sit down and accept that I was going to have to take steps backward like a pay cut and moving back home. AS scary as those backward steps are I know they are living me up for greatness in the future. It’s scary to think that everything you can have just falls apart. But it also makes you think that maybe you were never supposed to have those. 


“Life’s rejection is God’s Protection” 


As someone who watched everything fall apart, it was just as much a wake-up call as it was humbling. It was a good reminder that as amazing as life is anything could happen nothing is guaranteed. Yes, the rebuild after the fall may be scary and seem like an impossible task. However, please do it. Look at the life you want to build and what you think you need to do in order to get there. 


The truth is I’m still rebuilding. There are still have issues mentally that I have to work out. Plus I’m not done growing into the person I want to be. The fall showed me that I can’t ever stop putting in the needed work in order to be who I want to be. I still have goals and dreams and in order to achieve them, I have to continue to out in the work and never allow myself to get too comfortable because growth is uncomfortable. The rebuild after the fall was challenging but it’s not over yet. Never stop working toward who you want to be. -KMH



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